


My Savior Owl

by Universes_Mystery



Category: Original Work
Genre: Crack, Mmmmm, Piece, fucking this is a master, god im such a genius, hahah, half of this wont make sense but its ok, it doesnt need to make sense when u can tell its amazing already, youll love this dont worry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 10:47:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18991135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Universes_Mystery/pseuds/Universes_Mystery
Summary: :3





	My Savior Owl

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OwlF45](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwlF45/gifts).



        It was one hecking day, i was on my merry way, when the road fucking turned to sand but not just any sand, the kind that vores u, i called for help and that's when my savior came. Owl. they flew and clawed at my face. It kind of hurt. But no matter it was scaring the sand and it fucking threw me to the ground. I was safe, i turned to thank my savior but then i realized they were in a conversation with their cousin, Duolingo, a Green owl, and my mortal enemy. I screamed with rage, they killed my fucking snake, my only piece of family left after i messed up my first spanish lesson. Tears fell down my face as i realized i could not go near Owl because Duolingo was there. Suddenly, an idea popped into my mind. _Lets freaking punch Duolingo into the stratosphere_.

      At the time it seemed like a good idea, little did i know it would turn to a duel. I ran towards the green owl, intending to sucker punch them in their gut, at the last minute however, they turned to meet my face with a gun. And there we were, gun to face, fist to stomach. Duolingo cocked what could be an eyebrow, and said,”Its Spanish or Vanish puta.” Duolingo moves the gun to the side and shoots at my fucking designer Gucci purse. A sob pushed past my throat, and all i see is red. Maybe it's because my purse was red, maybe it's because Duolingo kind of shot me too, no matter, it would not stop me. I jumped on Duolingo, trying to strangle the gun out of their hands, their face turns to one of those serious anime faces with too much detail. The gun goes off, straight into my stomach. Blood pushed past my lips as my eyes stare into shock, _is...is this the end?_ I can't breathe, i'm growing hysterical, _i can't breathe_. Duolingo looks up at me, their face hardness and they stare at me”Im sorry my 5th removed mother,” any other day i would have forgiven them, bought into their lies, but not today, my Gucci bag ruined and a hole in my stomach, i have one last goal, thank Owl. I spit in Duolingo’s face and punch duolingo, they cry in outrage and turn to face me with their gun. However they realize what i'm holding, a gun, to their face. I tilt my head, smile, and whisper, “Es sobre ti imitación barato Grinch.” Duolingo’s eyes widen as they send a shaky smile towards me, proud that i learned my lesson. Merciless i pull the trigger.

        The deed is done, i sigh. Turning to where i last saw owl, i see them fortnite dancing in front of someone in hopes of getting free shit. Inwardly i cringe, not because its fortnite because that's totally not cool anyone can do and like anything, but it's because their failing poorly at convincing the person. I rush in to save them, by also fortnite dancing, but better this time because i'm the best at everything. With the power of us combined, the cashier merchant thing is swayed by our moves and gives us free shit. Candy, stuffed animals,  _ s t i c k e r s. _ All at the tip of my fingers. Before leaving i grab a protein bar because it will keep my muscles stronk. Then i realize the lord angel owl that i have yet to thank, i turn to them, barely holding my joy and kind of mayhaps bouncing on the balls of my feet.

               "Owl!,” i yell, because it is the only detail i know about them. Their back is behind me and they turn- o h nope that's not a turn their head is just turning but their back is still facing me. I take a step back, not wanting to catch whatever demon disease they have.  Its awkward, just standing there with me trying to imitate a turtle returning its head to its shell, and the savior demon Owl, whose eyes stare into my soul and whose neck is nonexistence. It's terrifying, but then i remember a lesson from the only other owl i have seem. Taking out something from my pocket, i put it in front of their face and yell “how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop!” Im such a fucking genius like i should get a degree in Owl. 

                                                                       Apparently the gods disagree and then Owl vores my hand.

* * *

              The sound of light opera music fills the room, the smell of some expensive fish I can't remember, it's calm and serene in this restaurant. Women with their lovers and people with their family. It feels like the world has stopped but we keep moving in this smol place of ours. I take a sip of champagne, slowly turning to face the person across from me, Owl. They seem nervous, as they have for the past hundred times we did this. “How's your arm?” they ask, it's always the first thing they ask. I lift up my left hand and show the totally badass metal arm i have now. It should also be note the totally smexy cute dress i have, its pastel pink with ruffles towards the end. It reaches mid thigh and then a pastel purple stocking takes the lead. With a thumbs up, Owl seems satisfied. I mean like they should feel guilty their the reason i had to have surgery after they completely vored my arm like wtf who does that. But also without them voring my arm i would not have gotten this really cool metal arm. “How's your husband and your 50 kids?” i ask in return. A question for a question. Their eyes shift nervously to their plate of fucking worms, cuz no matter how much owl hates eating them, their delicious and so they consume. “I mean their all alive and pretty healthy i think,” I raise my eyebrow, that's surprising considering the amount of troublemakers that are in there. Dani, lumii, and deadth are probably the most prominent ones. Still i leave it be, nothing will come out from poking the bear. The awkward silence is getting to Owl and they reply with “So! How's your family??” My eyes light up, “My wife, jessica rabbits is doing quite fine.” Owl nods. The rest of the evening goes like that until it’s time to return to our lives. Walking owl home, cuz i'm stronk and can protecc them, i breathe in the fresh air before going into a coughing fit because nope there's no such thing as fresh air just a bunch of smoke, gasoline and i think that's the smell of weed. Boom chacka la and we’re at the front of owls mansion because no house other than a mansion can hold 50 kids and two adults.  Turning to Owl i kick them through the window gently, yelling bye my ride comes. It's a monster truck because i'm half sure nothing is as badass and cute as my monster truck, with pastel blue wheels and a base color of a pastel periwinkle, with a side of pastel peach designs. Getting in and taking the wheel, i put on a blindfold, yell “jesus take the wheel!” and suddenly the car has some gold wings and it flies off because thats how fucking smexy it is.

_Until next time, Owl._ I think while flying to who knows where.


End file.
